khazzy's Diaryland Diary


Too hot..... rambling yet again

Hello all:

Damn it's hot here today. It's always the same, after lots of rainy days the heat wave comes through. I feel sticky and I've already taken four showers today and definitely going for another in just a little while. I need a damn AC but of course I cannot afford one, especially since the one I want costs like $400.00. I know I've said this before but it's my diary and I can keep saying it if I so choose to do so.

~shifty eyes at dear reader~


On another note my birthday is getting closer and closer and I think I'm feeling pretty good about that. I really don't care wether I spend it alone, with J, friends or family. I want to enjoy it no matter what and I have decided to do so even if it kills me. That could mean spending a nice quiet evening at home reading books that people decide to get me from my *cough cough wishlist cough cough*, out drinking with friends or letting my family sing Happy Birthday to me like when I was five. Anything will be good and I will not let anyone get in my way of spending time with myself. Amen...


Well my two best friends R and Y finally decided to start speaking to each other again so I guess I should be relieved at not having to be playing mediator between them anymore. They were acting like scorned lovers who had a fallen out but were still interested in each other's lives. Example:

R: What did you do today?

Me: Nohing much, just the usual stuff.


{seconds pass by acting indifferent}

R: Have you talked to Y lately?

Me: Yes, I spoke earlier today with her on the phone.

R: Ahhh... ok.

{more silence}

Me: So any plans for the weekend?

R: None so far.... are you planning on doing something with Y?

Me: Haven't discussed anything with her yet.

Do you want to do something?

R:Oh no... go right ahead and do something with her. I'm sure you'll have more fun with her than with me.

Me: Oh please, don't be silly. I have fun with you both.

R: Well you know you two have more in common than me and you. But how is she by the way? Is she doing good? Has she found a boyfriend? Anything new in her life? Does she asks about me? Does she knows how I'm doing or how is my life?

{Add endless questions about Y here}

When I'm with Y just substitute R for Y and you'll get the picture.

Well R decided to take the first step and she immediately dumped our probable outing tomorrow to go out with Y instead. I feel so used.

~insert sigh of relief here~

Hey, they are desperate to spend time with each other and I think that the lovebirds should do just that. Damn they sound like lesbian lovers don't they?!?! Hmmmmmmm... maybe I've been missing something all along this whole time. Who knows and really who cares!! I sure don't, I just want to have peace. Well at least until everything gets all mixed up again and we go back to the merry go round situation.

Oh well, at least I have friends that are willing to give me the boot without notice because they know our friendship is strong enough to sustain that kind of abuse. Right?!?!

Wow, this entry is longer than I intended it to be. Well, guess I will stop writing for now, gotta leave stuff to write for tomorrow... of course you know that I will not have anything in my mind tomorrow hence making this the longest entry ever about basically nothing.


9:48 pm - 14 June 2002


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