khazzy's Diaryland Diary

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Get away from me.......

OK This is just wrong.... I have not updated in a few days ( and I know you forgive me) but still do not feel like writing anything at all. I'm feeling blue and it's because of a lot of things that I rather not go into since I just hate repeating myself and not do anyting about it. I know I just don't seem to want to face reality so I just let it go. It's not healthy, I'll tell you that (although I wish I would at least lose a few pounds over it DAMN) I guess my metabolism just doesn't give a horse's ass one way or the other. I have just been reading all of your diaries and passing time doing absolutely nothing. I want to let it all go but really don't know how. I wish I was like all of you mates out there that can use words and describe things as if it were a vivid picture, where my mind gets all worked up because of all the things I get to live through your entries. In a nutshell my life is very boring and insignificant.... or at least it feels like it, and deep inside me I know that is not true up to a point so there's really no need to let me know that that just isn't so and that every life is important and that the world would be different if I were not in it.... although I would like to really know what changes or who's life I have touched in a significant manner with my presence. I guess I have to think about that hard and get it through my thick skull. Just hope I find something really worth while.

Depressing I know.. I'm having an off phase in my life so bare with me if you will, since I think I will be feeling like this for a while if not always from now on. Or maybe I will just snap out of it tomorrow... who knows really or more important, who cares.

BuhBYe

9:48 pm - Monday, Mar. 25, 2002

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